A few days ago I went on my yearly Back-to-School shopping spree. (I only indulge in two such sprees every year, in Fall and Spring, so really, you have to commend me for that!) To my utter delight, I was able to purchase pants! As in normal, adult-sized pants (size 0 but hey, the size exists and it fits!). Naturally, the pants were too long, because most white women are not endowed with a ghetto booty and being 5'6" at 100 pounds, however scary, does happen.
The pants also passed the Vagrant Man Test (TM), which means that I was very loudly and graphically complimented on my censorable anatomy while wearing them. It is called the Vagrant Man Test (TM) because I have never elicited such comments in any male who looked like he a) had taken a bath in the last week or b) had a job. Over the past year or so, vagrant men have told me:
"That's the finest booty I seen all day!"
"Ooohweee, fancy pussy!" (perhaps my favorite)
"You got a nice lil tush down there!"
"Look at that fine breast! Mmm, that's a fine piece of ass! Oh yeah!"
"You are one hot-assed bitch!"
Since most of such remarks come from black men, I almost tend to feel flattered, for two reasons:
1. Most of the black men in question are either pimps or wannabe-pimps. And while, granted, those particular black men don't usually deal in the finest material, they still have a presumably professional eye for nice-looking ass.
2. Black men generally like a brick house. I'll admit that I am still too slender for genuine brickhousiness, but I like to think that their hooting and their hollering conveys a sense of brick house potential.
This is probably one of the most politically-incorrect entries I have ever posted. Of course, political correctness is very good.
For me to poop on.