I've been doing the extended birth control pill regime (go through 3 packs then break for a week) in hopes of reducing the frequency of my periods and getting bigger boobs. The boobs are great and the period is sort of ok, but it's taken a toll on my libido -- old, old story. Plus, I am going through my customary spring depression. I was freaking out a few days ago, finding myself almost as depressed as two years ago, when I was stuck in Romania, but then I remembered that I was similarly depressed last April. Paradoxically, it was Adam's dad's death that forced me to cut the crap and stop being depressed. It's funny how worried I get every time I've gone through a few weeks without masturbating. I always enjoy the sex -- I get much more stimulation, sniff lots of pheromones and get comfort and safety signals from contact with my baby. I also do always (if I'm not falling asleep) desire the sex; whether it's an itch in the vaginal area or a need to be close to Adam, I desire it. What I haven't been desiring of late is fantasizing and ... um steaming my own clam. The fantasy process has been seeming tedious and lengthy. And I get so jealous when I see that Adam can take care of himself in 5 minutes! After talking to him a couple days ago, though, I started feeling better. He suggested that fantasizing, like almost anything else, is a skill that to be practiced, which I think is extremely aptly put. I will be breaking from my pill in a couple days (and I'm not entirely positive that I will resume the extended regime) and I will also start reading some amateur erotica. Ain't nothing like amateur erotica to get a mostly straight girl back on track! In other but equally relevant news, I am getting really fit. I'm going to get certified as a personal trainer within the year, and am quite excited. Also, the flooring on the first level is almost done. Everything in the house is covered with sawdust, and will probably continue to be so for a little while.